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Getting an adopted daughter married in India

adoption

My aunt and uncle have an adopted daughter. That little angel grew up like a real princess. They gave her all the love they can. Though pampered a lot, she grew up to be a very fine woman. This well behaved and affectionate girl got a well paid job in the software industry and now it was time to look for a groom.

Aunt and uncle hand picked a few and then they narrowed it down.The girl and the boy got talking and she found herself falling in love with the guy.

As the wedding day grew closer, the groom family started to make frequent demands. The happiness in their little angel’s face mattered most and so uncle and aunt said yes to every demand. All the wedding plans have been finalized, guests have started showing up at the beautifully decorated bridal home and three days before the wedding, the groom family decided to make one final demand. Uncle and aunt should transfer all their property in the bride’s name because she is adopted. They transferred everything (worth crores of rupees) except their part in an ancestral property.

Since their daughter was head over heels in love with the boy now, her parents agreed to every ridiculous demand. The wedding went as per plan. Two years later, we heard that uncle and aunt had gone to live with their daughter for a few months to take care of her new born baby. It was shocking when more news began to leak.

Since the girl is adopted, her in laws taunted her that her biological parents did not love her enough to keep her and her adoptive parents do not love her enough to give her their all. This broke that otherwise smart girl’s heart and pushed her into depression because she was threatened with divorce if she did not get more money from her parents.

A demanding job, a cowardly husband, a mother in law who frequently made her feel like a reject, took a toll on her and she attempted suicide. Her shocked parents rushed to her side and gave her that last piece of land they owned.

Only a sick mind can do this to an adopted child just for a few extra rupees. But sick minds do walk amongst us.

Some relative blamed the daughter who was raised in an all loving environment and yet she did stand up for her parents. How could she be so blinded by her love for her husband they asked. Some asked how could a highly educated modern woman in a highly paid job allow others to taunt her and rob her parents. May be her parents should have anticipated such a thing and raised her with more confidence some concluded. Hind sight is 20/20.

The blame rests on the sick minds no doubt. But now that we know such meanies exist, we have to raise our children to stand up and not take nonsense like this. Adoptive children are fragile and feelings of rejection will rear its ugly head when they are vulnerable especially when someone threatens to break one of their relationships (here marriage) .

Adoptive parents who shower them with love should also mentally prepare the kids. This news sent shock waves through out the family. We do live in evil times.

Teach your children their worth. Teach them in such a way that no one in this world can make them feel inferior. That is the best gift we can give our lovely children.

mother-and-daughter

 

We need to teach our daughters
the difference between:

a man that flatters her
and a man that compliments her.

A man that spends money on her
and a man that invests in her.

A man that views her as property
and a man that views her properly.

A man that lusts after her
and a man that loves her.

A man that believes he is God’s gift to women
and a man that remembers a woman was God’s gift to man.

And then we need to teach our sons
to be that kind of man.

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